


“Get out of my room.”

by damthosefandoms



Series: And they all lived happily ever after [4]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Brothers, Bruce Wayne is a Good Dad, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Gen, Jason Todd is Robin, They’re brothers, Which is to say not at all, albeit a tired dad, bitch I lived it, how do I know?, in which Dick and Jason get along like my brother and I do, no editing we die like robins, rated t bc swearing but that’s it, this is realistic portrayal of a sibling relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damthosefandoms/pseuds/damthosefandoms
Summary: Dick likes to mess with his little brother. Jason enjoys being a little shit to his older brother. Everyone always says they’ll get along when they get older. They’re not so sure about that.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Series: And they all lived happily ever after [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959343
Comments: 18
Kudos: 228





	“Get out of my room.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the single most self-indulgent fic I’ve ever written. All of these are true stories based off things that happened in my life with my big brother, just… edited to fit Dick and Jason’s lives. Uh. Yeah. I’ll go into more details in the end notes! I just want you guys to read it lol!
> 
> P.S. I realize Dick might come off as a bad guy here but actually he’s not that bad, he’s just an older sibling and I am telling these stories as a younger sister, and therefore cannot accurately depict all the times Jason screwed Dick over badly in return lmao.
> 
> P.S. Don’t tell my older brother I wrote this, he’ll bully me over it :/

“What—what’re you doing? Dick?” Jason snapped, turning off his phone and glaring at his brother.

“Sitting on the couch. What, is that not allowed?” Dick said, all too casually, sounding almost as if he didn’t plan this at all.

“Get off my legs,” Jason said, trying to wriggle his legs out from under his brother. “I can’t move.” 

“Hmm.” Dick shifted so that even more of his weight was on top of Jason. “Not my problem.” 

Jason sat up the best that he could and tried to shove Dick off of him. “You could’ve sat anywhere in this room and you’re sitting on me! It’s _so_ your problem! Get _off!”_

Dick didn’t say anything, just kept scrolling on his phone. He leaned to the side towards Jason to try to stay sitting up. This made Jason just try to shove him harder—Dick propped his feet up against the coffee table in front of them to keep his balance.

“Get OFF ME, DICK!” Jason yelled, starting to get frustrated. He kept trying to pull his legs out from under him. It was another five minutes before he was able to.

Dick fell back down onto the couch when Jason finally got his legs out. Before Jason could move, though, Dick grabbed his brother’s legs and pulled them to his chest, and Jason was basically trapped again.

“SERIOUSLY?” Jason yelled, this time using his hands to try to pull one of his legs out from Dick’s grip. Dick just kept laughing. 

“You could’ve just let me sit there, you know.” 

“I was here first!” 

“I was _born first!”_

_“JUST LET GO OF MY LEG!”_

As Jason argued, he managed to pull one of his legs free and tried to use it to get the other one loose. However, when he tried to use his foot to push Dick’s face away so he could grab his brother’s arm away, his foot slipped, and, well…

 _“Get your gross foot off my fac—_ mmphf!” Jason kicked his heel directly into the side of Dick’s nose, hard. Dick let go of his legs, and immediately brought his hands up to his face.

“Shit,” Jason said, shifting so he was kneeling on the couch instead and leaned in to get a closer look. “Are you okay?” 

Dick nodded, but when he pulled his hand away from his nose, Jason winced. 

“Alfred! Dick’s nose is bleeding!” He called, and then he turned back to Dick. 

“I’m sorry, it was an accident, I didn’t mean it…” he said. He really didn’t. 

Dick just waved him off, tilting his head back to try to help the bleeding. “I know, it’s fine, just—grab me a tissue, ‘kay?”

“You’re not mad?” Jason asked, picking up the box and handing it to him.

“No,” Dick’s voice was all messed up because of the nose injury, but Jason could sort of make it out anyway. “It was an accident. Are you okay?” 

Jason nodded. He handed Dick another tissue. 

* * *

“Where are you?” Jason said into the phone. “You were supposed to be here at 2:00. You know that’s when I get out.”

Dick’s voice came back over the speaker. He sounded like he’d just woken up, probably because he _had_ just woken up. 

“I’m trying to find my keys. I’ll meet you there, just wait by the big rock and—”

Jason huffed. He gripped his backpack strap with the hand that wasn’t holding up the phone. “No, don’t bother. I’m just going to walk home to the Manor.”

“Jason, I can come get you right now. It’s not a big deal—” Dick tried to argue, but Jason wasn’t having it.

“No. If you’re not going to come get me, I can walk myself. It’s fine. I don’t care. Besides, I’m gonna tell B all about this when I get there, and he’s going to yell at you later for making me walk all the way home, so good luck with that. Bye.”

“Jason, I’ll come, you don’t have to walk—”

Jason hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket. He stopped to kick a rock down the sidewalk. Big brothers are useless; if Dick was going to sleep in all day and not come pick him up from school like he was supposed to, so be it. Jason would just suffer through the long walk home. That way, Dick would get in trouble for even more stuff. 

Besides, Jason was a petty kid. Couldn’t be helped.

* * *

Dick pressed the start button on the microwave and glanced around the kitchen. Jason was sitting on a barstool at the island counter. He was eating what seemed to be a bowl of ice cream, and his laptop was sitting right in front of him. He had his headphones in and was staring at the screen intently. Every so often, Dick could see a hint of a smile on his face, and he’d let out a quiet laugh.

And he was sitting right in front of the snack cabinet. Perfect. 

Dick walked towards his little brother, gliding across the floor silently in his socks. He tried to hide the sneaky grin on his face. 

When he was only a few feet away, Jason’s head snapped up. He slammed the laptop shut and ripped out his earbuds, a weird expression on his face that was a mix of annoyance and deer-caught-in-headlights. He glared at Dick. 

_“What?”_ Jason snapped at him. “What do you want?”

“Whatcha watchin’?” Dick asked in a sing-songy voice. He couldn’t stop his shit-eating grin from taking over his face.

“Nothing, shut up. Go away I’m trying to eat,” Jason said, leaning away from his brother and crossing his arms defensively.

Dick knew exactly what Jason was doing. He was pretty sure Jason knew that he knew. But the kid was still acting defensive, and it was kind of funny to watch. 

Jason always watched the same four things while eating by himself—some sort of cartoon like Avatar or Pokémon or something, or old episodes of the Office, or something like that. And even though everyone in the house knew this, and Jason was aware of this fact, he still would hide the screen and get all defensive if someone walked up behind him or just into the room.

What a strange kid. But it gave Dick that many more opportunities to mess with his little brother, so he took them every chance he got.

* * *

The first lamp they broke was entirely Jason’s fault, that is, if you asked Dick.

He’d simply suggested that it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world for them to play baseball in the Manor’s main ballroom since it was pouring outside. Jason was the one who agreed to it. That made it his fault, obviously.

They’d set up a whole miniature field—the room was big enough for it, after all. They didn’t have any actual bases, so Jason and Dick had to make due. They used empty folders, backpacks, jackets, whatever they could find.

They were so intent on making sure they wouldn’t be able to break any windows that both boys conveniently forgot that floor lamps existed, and, well, when Jason swung the bat to hit the first ball…

Not Dick’s fault. Jason’s the one who broke it.

The second lamp _was_ Dick’s fault, though. It was about a year later, and he was just hanging around in the living room when Jason came in and threw a sneaker as hard as he could towards Dick’s head. 

“STOP LEAVING YOUR STUFF ON THE STAIRS WHEN YOU _KNOW_ I’M GOING TO TRIP ON IT!” He yelled, face bright red. Dick had no idea what he was talking about. He picked up the shoe.

“This isn’t even mine, Jay, what the hell?” He chucked the shoe as hard as he could back at Jason, who ducked just in time to avoid being hit.

The shoe kept flying, and went right into the lamp behind Jason. It fell over and crashed to the ground.

The brothers looked at each other, then at the mess, and then back at each other, and screamed, “I DIDN’T DO IT!” 

The other two lamps died in similar circumstances, but they’ve both sworn to never speak of them. 

(They bought Alfred and Bruce a new lamp at Target for Christmas last year to make up for all the lost ones.)

* * *

Jason was sitting in the batcave looking through some old files on the computer for Bruce when his phone buzzed. It was a text from Dick, who Jason was pretty sure was still upstairs in bed despite it being 2:00 in the afternoon at the time.

“Come here,” is all it said. Jason sighed, closing the folders he’d opened and shutting down the computer.

He stomped down the hallway to Dick’s bedroom and slammed his door open, just to find his brother still hiding under the covers. 

“What do you want?” Jason said, crossing his arms. 

Dick didn’t even sit all the way up. “Can you turn the tv on for me? And hand me the Xbox remote?”

Jason blinked in response. Before he could say anything, he heard another voice say, _“Dick, what the hell? Did you really just make Jason come all the way up here for that?”_

Jason looked closer and noticed that Dick had his phone up by his head and was apparently… FaceTiming Barbara? Seriously?

“Jay? The tv? Hello?” Dick said, ignoring his friend (girlfriend? Jason still didn’t know), and holy shit, did Jason look pissed. He walked over to Dick’s desk, grabbed the Xbox remote, and threw it at Dick before walking out of his room and slamming the door. 

Asshole.

* * *

Dick got in the driver’s seat of the car while Jason finished putting the grocery bags into the trunk. He slammed the trunk shut and walked around to the passenger’s seat.

As Jason reached for the handle, Dick pressed the button to lock the car doors. Jason grabbed the handle anyway and pulled.

It didn’t budge. 

He banged on the window, and gave Dick a “what the hell?” look. Dick stared back at him innocently, and Jason responded with a glare and crossed arms. Dick’s eyes widened in fake realization and he nodded, pressing the unlock button.

Jason uncrossed his arms and reached for the door handle again. This time, the door was locked the second his hand touched it. Jason angrily pulled at the handle, then slammed his hand onto the car window.

“Dick,” He said, trying to speak loud enough for his older brother to hear him without drawing the attention of anyone nearby, “Open the door.” He pulled at the door handle again. 

Dick was laughing, that piece of shit. He unlocked the door again and then lifted his hand off the lock button, holding it up to show Jason he wasn’t going to do it again.

Jason sighed in relief and then reached for the door.

Locked. Dick had pressed the button on the key. 

He did this four more times, until Jason got _really_ angry.

“Come on, asshole!” Jason slammed both his fists against the car door. A few people who were standing around in the parking lot glanced over. Jason could just tell that they were judging him.

“Dick, open the fucking door, people are staring.” He shook the car door handle violently. “C’mon, asshole, joke’s over. It’s not funny anymore.”

Dick, who was laughing his head off inside the car, finally letting his brother in. Jason sat down and slammed the door shut, swinging his arm out and punching Dick in the shoulder. Dick laughed through the pain.

“It was pretty funny,” he said, trying to calm down. “Lighten up, Jay.”

“Just fucking drive, you dick.” Jason muttered, buckling the seatbelt and slouching down in his seat.

* * *

Jason climbed up onto his brother's bed and rested his chin on Dick’s shoulder, staring over his shoulder at the tv. He pulled the headphones off of Dick’s head. 

“You playin’ something, Dickie?” He asked, trying to reach around and grab the controller out of his hands. Dick moved it just out of his reach. 

“Minecraft with Wally. Get out of my room.” 

“Can I watch you play?” 

“No. Get out of my room,” Dick said, pushing Jason off his bed. Jason rolled off onto the ground safely.

Dick thought it was over for a few sweet seconds, until Jason yelled, “OW! BRUCE!” at the top of his lungs and jumped up to his feet, racing towards the door.

Dick rolled his eyes and fixed his headphones.

Five minutes later, he could hear Bruce’s voice yelling from down the hall, “DICK, LET YOUR BROTHER WATCH YOU PLAY ON YOUR GAMEBOY.” 

“Xbox, B.” 

“It’s all the same,” Bruce said, walking up to the doorway. Dick groaned as Jason slipped inside and slipped back over to his spot next to Dick on the bed.

“Just let him watch you for a little bit, okay?” Bruce asked. Dick sighed.

“One sec, Wally,” he said, muting his mic. “B, I don’t want him in here. He always ruins everything and—”

Bruce held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear it. Just… let him watch.”

Bruce walked out and Dick sighed. 

He turned his attention back to the game, turned his mic back on, and tuned out Jason’s annoying comments.

Five minutes later:

“Jason, you made me die! Why’d you do that?”

“But I didn’t do anything! I’m just sitting here!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on this Tumblr post I made, which has many more moments like these: https://damthosefandoms.tumblr.com/post/628530334396481536
> 
> Basically, I think that like, Dick is the cool “can do no wrong” type of older brother to Tim. He’s literally a father figure to Damian, which means he’s the “so much older I could be your dad but I’m not” older brother figure to him, but I really like to think that to Jason, Dick is the “jerk-ass big brother who would kill for the younger sibling but also would totally leave them out to dry” older brother figure. 
> 
> This is how I explained it to Destiny, if it helps:
> 
> “listen if Dick and Damian are happy close siblings, and Jason and Tim are the middle children so let’s team up against the rest siblings, and Dick and Tim are the dad. chill. please. siblings, and Jason and Damian are the who even are you siblings, then Dick & Jason are the I love you so I’m going to toss you over my shoulder and throw you in a trash can to prove my superiority siblings and the I’ll pick you up from school if I have to but since I detest your existence I’m going to make it as annoying for you as I possibly can siblings. Tim and Damian are the we aren’t allowed to physically fight anymore so Tim locks Damian out of the car, Damian trains his dog to tackle Tim every time he walks in the door no matter where they are or who is there or what is going on, including during Galas, Tim hacks Damian to lock him out of all of his electronics, Damian deletes Tim’s Netflix account, etc siblings. Dick and Jason are just me and Adam but Tim and Damian are me and Adam if we were billionaire vigilantes with tragic backstories”


End file.
